Time

I walked hurriedly towards the bus stop, blowing my warm breath into my hands.  The breaths twisted out of my mouth in smooth clouds, contrasting into the chilled winter air.
My runners crunched into the snow in a fast pace, and I made an effort to make it in time.
I did.

First period.  I sit in my seat, Aria sits in front of me like usual.  She turns around and smiles at me. It makes my heart stutter.
We chat while walking to our next class and she grabs my hand playfully.  She kisses my cheek and flutters away to her classroom.
I'm happy.

Lunch time.  My stomach growls.  But mum spent all her paycheck on the apartment and on liquor.  It's been a week and we still haven't had a proper meal.
Aria shares her ham sandwich with me.
It tastes really good.

I hop on the bus.  The driver seems angry.  He's yelling to move back.  We can't, we are already suffocating in each others breaths.
I'm sweating.

I walk home, relieved it's so cold out.  I feel refreshed and light.  I get home when it's dark out, and notice the entire apartment building is dark.
My gut twists.

I have to climb the stairs because the elevators aren't working.  I get to the 5th floor a bit winded, but I'm okay.
I open the door.  Mum is sleeping on the couch with a piece of paper in her hand.  Curiosity fills me and I pull it out.
In large, upper case letters, EVICTION NOTICE.
I put it back.

I wake up late again.  Mum is watching the news.  It's weird that she's up so early.  I hear the newscaster say how the bombing in our country are getting more frequent as well as more intense.
I find an apple under a pile of rags.
I don't have time to wash it.
I run to the bus in the frosted air.

Aria sits down and talks to me about the bombings.  I tell her not to worry.  She smiles.
My heart stutters.

Lunch again.  She splits her sandwich again.
And she gives me her granola bar.  She tells me I need to eat more.  When I say she should have it she says she needs to lose weight anyways.
I tell her that's far from the truth.
She asks if I'm okay.
I eat the granola bar and kiss her.

I get home and open the pantry.  There's half a bottle of whiskey left.  I wonder what my mum did with the other ones.
She's not on the couch.
I scrap some money together for a small pizza.
I keep an extra slice for lunch so Aria doesn't worry.

Mum is watching the news again.  There's screaming on the television.  I ask her if she had breakfast.
She doesn't hear me.
I ask again.
She slowly turns her head.  Her blond hair is stringy and greasy.  Her brown eyes are bloodshot.  She slurs something.
I leave.

The bus didn't come today.  I went to Aria's.  Her bus didn't come either.
We lay in silence while listening to the radio.
They're saying our city is a target for the bombings.
She doesn't think I realize she's crying.
I stay the night.

We catch a ride to school.  The principle says class isn't cancelled.
First period goes slowly.  When Aria looks back at me it makes things better.

Second period comes, Aria and I part ways.

Aria gives me a piece of her sandwich.  When I got home after staying at her house I found my slice of pizza was gone.
I thanked her.
She gave me her granola bar again.
I thanked her again.

We go out after school and grab coffee.  She pays.  I hug her for a long time.
Her hair smells like flowers.
She always smells like flowers.

I get home later.  Mum is on the couch.  She yells at me for eating all the food.  I don't tell her she's the one who ate it, just to vomit it up.
Instead, I go to bed early.

I wake up late and run out the door.  My shoes are slipping on the ground as I run.
I just make the bus.
A few people laugh at me.
I watch the scenery pass as we drive.
A lot of people are walking around with large bags filled with what seems to be basic necessities.
We get to school.

First period.
Aria isn't here today.

I walk to second period alone.

I find a spot to sit at lunch.  My stomach growls.

I catch the bus home.

Mum isn't in her room or on the couch.  Her bathroom door is shut.
When I knock there's no reply.
I try to open it.
It won't.
The doorknob must be jammed again.
I notice there's no more alcohol.
Maybe she stopped.

I leave early, mum wasn't watching the news.  I didn't hear her come home last night.
I wonder if she's seeing someone.
The snow is melting into ice and it's even more slick.  I'm glad I left early because it takes me twice as long to get to the stop.

First period, Aria arrives late.
She whispers to me that her brother was sick, and her mum couldn't stay home to take care of him.
Her dad is out of town again.
I give her her homework.
We have time in class to work together.
She turns her chair.
Her hair flows behind her back.
She blinks at me.
Everything goes silent.
Suddenly, a loud ringing stings my ears.
Aria's eyes are wide.  They look like an endless void of fear.
Her hair is blowing to the side like in a photo shoot.
But the air is coming from the window.
The window that is shattering towards us.
Glass flies into our skin.
By the time that I see blood specking her face, everything is already black.
Everything is already pitch black.

A Police Statement

     "I counted to four while standing on the edge.  My swimsuit wasn't like everyone else's in how every one else's was already wet from their jumps.  But my trousers were still dry and I knew they were laughing at me.
     I counted to five while clenching my teeth.  It was a high jump, but there was water below.  I knew this.  I drove past this every day.
     I counted to six when I heard them yelling to me from several feet back.
     "Come on, Christian!"  I think that was Kyle.
     "Deep breath and go, Chris!"  Definitely Sean.
     "Don't be such a pussy!"  I didn't recognize that voice, so I'm guessing it was one of the random guys that tagged along with us.
     I counted to seven, wondering how I got here.

     We were talking at lunch about how crazy it would be to jump off one of the cliff's near Lindell Beach when someone said it would send an incredible adrenaline rush.  Then someone else piped up how you don't grow hair on your chest until you've pushed your boundaries to the extreme.
That's when Sera scolded us for talking about something so dangerous.  About how we were making it seem heroic where so many people died from cliff diving; especially considering the recent deaths from a few people who jumped off the cliff's near Lindell.

     I counted to eight as I began to notice how shaky I had gotten.

One of the boys-- I think it was Kyle, he said it could be a gateway to manhood or some shit- crap, sorry.  But we all got pumped up about it and psyched ourselves up.  About two hours later we were cramming into Kyle's van with a few guys from our class as we drove to Lindell Beach.

     I counted to nine as I looked over the edge.  The waves crashed against the cliff, and I couldn't see past the thick black water.  I heard a bit of commotion behind me, but before I could turn I felt someone spin me around.
     "Hey!"  I exclaimed while trying to not tumble off the cliff.  I noticed the green eyes I was looking at belonged to Sera.
     "Are you seriously so stupid as to do this?"  Her lips quivered a bit, and she kept fumbling to keep her brown hair from being blown into her face.
     "How did you get here?  You don't drive."
     She laughed a bit, "Neither can you, but you managed to catch a ride too."
     I looked over her shoulder and noticed how restless the guys were getting.  Kyle scowled as he pointed to the cliff.
     When I didn't respond she pointed behind her, "Danielle drove me up."
     Just as she said Danielle, I noticed her short tan frame leaning against a vibrant, red convertible.  I'm surprised I didn't hear her smacking her gum before.  Then I noticed something.  They were both in their swimsuits.  Danielle was in a two-piece yellow one with large round sunglasses-- red of course to match her lipstick.
     But when I looked back to Sera, she was wearing a simple black one-piece.
     "We realize it's stupid.  But, I dunno, we thought since we know CPR and stuff we could just make sure if one of you got hurt we could help."  She shrugged, "Besides we're here now, and it's a bit of a drive to go back.  And Danielle wanted to be around boys."   She smiled at her last comment and we caught ourselves laughing at it.
     I ran my hand through my hair as I turned back towards the cliff, "Well, I'm about to jump, so if I need help I won't shout up.  But if you hear me shouting, don't jump after me, okay?"  I grinned as she nodded.
     "Just jump as far away from the cliff as you can, alright?"
     I answered by putting some distance between me and the edge.  I looked at her before sprinting to the edge.
     I lost track of which number I had counted to, so I just let myself leap off.
     And then I felt the rush as I fell through the air.  My breath became the air and my face was absorbing the sunlight.  My limbs were light and my hair was as soft as feathers.  I had to remember to position my body properly to land so I didn't hurt myself.
     And in an instant, water consumed me.  I felt exhilarated as I let myself stay floating under the water.  I felt like I was in another world.  I felt incredible and soft and peaceful.
     I slowly swan up to the surface, inhaling deeply as my lungs felt oxygen.  I heard someone yelling, but I was in such a haze that I couldn't make out what they were saying.  I looked up at the sky and noticed how the pale yellow light kissed the water so beautifully that it created a liquid gold.      A few seagulls squealed above me and I watched in awe as their wings spread wide to take the air current against the cliff.  They seemed to fly so easily.  I wondered what it would be like to fly like that.
     But then I realized I was just exposed to that feeling.  It felt like I was flying.  I want to keep flying.
     Suddenly a giant splash exploded beside me, sending me into shock as to what happened.
     A head full of long brown hair popped up gasping and yelling, "Christian!"
     I felt my stomach drop when I recognized her.
     I choked a bit on water, "Sera?"
     Her eyes widened and I saw anger flow through her as she splashed me, "Christian! For God's sake, I thought you were hurt! You didn't shout up, and you said you would if you weren't hurt, and so you were making it seem like you were hurt, and I was so scared because I didn't know what to do when I would get down here because right now I can't see a way to get back up--"  I started laughing.  Really, really hard.  "Why are you laughing?  Christian.  Christian!"  She splashed me again.
     I spoke between breaths and water, "I was in awe with everything.  The jump was incredible, I was just in another world.  I barely heard you yelling, and it was like every image and feeling was amplified.  I'm so sorry Sera."  I was laughing again.  But she sank a bit in the water and moved away from me.  I grew a bit solemn, "Sera?"
     She went to splash me again but I grabbed her wrists, which is really awkward when you're treading water.  I had to push her hands down and continue treading water.  She looked at me through her eyelashes and muttered something.
     "What?"  I swam a bit closer.
     "I said you're a jerk for making me think you were hurt!"  She splashed me before I could stop her.
     "Okay, you really need to stop doing that."  I wiped my face.  Sera glared at me and smacked her hand into the water to me, and she kept spraying the water for a good minute.  Finally, she stopped, huffing a bit.
    "Are you done?"  I asked.
    "Yes."  She mumbled, looking unhappy.
    "C'mon, let's head up.  With how long we're taking, they might be a bit freaked too."  Her face lit up a bit with hearing that we're leaving.
     We swam over to the cliff and I told her if we held on and moved to the right, there'd be a pathway that some people made so it's easy to get back up.
     When we got to the top again, the guys were sitting casually while Danielle was sun bathing.  You could see her talking to Sean, who seemed so into the conversation that he didn't even check out her body.  I gave him props.  When Danielle spotted Sera, she leaped up and shimmied over to her, all the guys swooned pretty hard that I could hardly refrain my laughter.
     She dramatically swept Sera up in large hug, "We were all so worried, Ser."  She air kissed both her cheeks and went back down to Sean.
    Kyle nodded to me, "Not so bad, eh?"  He smiled, "And you got Sera to jump, so you killed two birds with one stone!"  My smile felt a bit forced, but I asked anyways.
    "What do you mean?"
    "Everyone who's here has to jump."  I felt cold suddenly.
    "If they don't want to jump they don't have to."  I replied.  But the problem wasn't who jumped, but who hadn't.  And the only person who hadn't was Danielle.
     She waved her hand dismissing the idea, "Oh please, I'm not jumping.  I'm tanning.  See?"  The patted her towel.
     Kyle smirked, "Oh, if you don't want to jump that's fine, babe."  I saw her clench her teeth.
     "Don't call me babe."  She stood up, beginning to roll up her towel, "Well, Ser, since you've had your fun and saved Mr. Dreamy, let's haul ass and get out of here."  But as she kissed Sean's cheek and stood up-- leaving a bright read kiss mark, may I add-- Kyle stepped in front of her.
     "Go?  But you haven't made your mark yet, babe."  He smiled with his bright white teeth.
     I stepped up now, realizing how serious this was getting.  I chuckled a bit to break the tension, "Okay, guys, if she doesn't wanna jump, she doesn't have to."  I turned to Danielle, "We'll see you at school, have a nice weekend," I stepped to Sera and leaned to her ear, "And I hope to see you this weekend, maybe?"  She grinned and gave me her phone to put my number in.  As I was finishing it and Danielle was walking to her car, Kyle ran forward to her and picked her up.
     I rushed the number, gave Sera my phone back and stopped Kyle.  I noticed Sean was standing up now too.
     "Kyle, put her the fuck down.  What are you thinking?  This isn't the time, or area to be fooling around."  Sean sounded pretty scary when he was serious,
     Kyle snorted, "What, you want your little girl toy back?  Come get her."  And with that, he sprinted to the cliff edge.  Everyone was shouting now, and I felt Sera grip my arm.
     Sean, with his height, easily ran to the edge and pulled Danielle out of his arms.  He placed her on the ground and shoved Kyle in the chest, "What the fuck is your problem?"
    Danielle slowly crawled away, shaking vehemently.  I rushed to her side and helped her to sit next to Sera.  Danielle had taken off her sunglasses, and you could see the fear in her blue eyes.  Sera ran to the car and grabbed the towel, wrapping Danielle in it.
    I heard a bloodcurdling scream from Danielle as she pointed to the cliff with her sunglasses.
    I spun on my heels and saw that Kyle was standing over the edge, his back heaving from his lungs.  But I didn't see Sean.
    I whispered while stepping towards him, "Kyle?"  His back was still rising quickly, "Kyle, where's Sean?"  All the guys were in shock.  But Kyle didn't turn around.  I felt a gust of wind fly by me, and I saw Sera's brown hair flowing like the waves below as she jumped off the edge.
    "Sera!"  I was jumping before I knew what was happening, and I smashed into the water faster than a second.   I broke through the water, gasping for air, and saw Sera swimming through the waves, diving, coming back up, scanning for where he could be.  I dove under the water, trying to see him, but the water was so dark I couldn't see anything.
    I came to the surface, and panic struck me as I couldn't see Sera anymore either.  I looked up at the cliff and saw Kyle staring down intensely.  I squinted my eyes because something felt off.  But I went over to the path, to find Sera sitting, clutching her hands.
    "Sera, it's okay, we'll find him."  She shook her head.
    "I can't see him if he's hurt.  I know CPR, Chris, not how to save someone's life.  I can go call the ambulance."
    I reached for her hands and squatted in front of her, "When you go call the ambulance, please come straight down.  Take the path if you need to, but when I find him I need your help to keep him conscious."  I tried to smile, and she stood up nodding.
    "Okay.  I'll come straight down."  With that, she sprinted up the path.
    I hurried back to the water and saw that Kyle was still staring down.  I spent about five minutes scouring the water, and diving as deep as I could go.
    Then something came to my mind.  When Sera came back down-- by the path-- I asked her about what the water looked like when she jumped in after me, the first time.
     "The water was really choppy.  But not like how they were crashing against the cliff.  It was like a bulls eye."  She tilted her head, "Why?"  But then her eyes widened.  "The water.  It wasn't disturbed from Sean when I went down."  She covered her mouth as tears formed in her eyes, "He never made it to the water, Chris.  He never made it."  She was hysterical now, sobbing into her arms.  I comforted her for a moment before I had to pull away.
     "I have to find him, Ser.  Stay here.  Breathe through your nose out through your mouth."  She nodded.
    When I went into the water I looked up at the cliff.  There were a few spots where Sean could have fallen, but something told me it would be easy to see where he was.  Because Kyle was staring at him.
    It was all a blur after that.
    I'm sorry.  I don't remember anything other than climbing up the cliff, and having to push his body into the water.  Then I had to pull it by the pathway.  I had to help Sera try to help Sean.  And she cried a lot.  I began crying too.  I had been best friends with Sean for twelve years.  We used to play video games on NES when we were younger.  Especially Donkey Kong.  We loved DK.
    I held Sera because she couldn't stop crying.  So eventually we stopped trying to help Sean because he wasn't responding.  He wasn't breathing.  So we held each other as we waited for the ambulance.
   I'm sorry officer, I can't remember anything else."

A Strange, Beautiful Dream

I have a lot of dreams.
Weird dreams.
Not ones that take place in the supermarket and the can I'm looking at is for fish children.
Oh no.
It's like I'm in a different life from a different universe.
I think that's why I believe my body is sleeping but my spirit goes to a different dimension.


I was packing because I was visiting a home, and it was time to leave.  There was a boy there around my age who was getting on my nerves, and I knew I had to talk to him before I left.  When I got to his room to get my bag (I was staying in his room seeing as there were two beds, three actually, but I'll get to that) and he was sitting on his bed reading.
When I opened the doors his eyes flicked up and went back to his book.  I said meekly that I came to finish packing.  He didn't respond until I started packing.
"Do things ever confuse you?"  He put the book down.
"Yes, all the time, really."  I was unzipping my bag to put in clothes.
"Aiya, what if something were to happen?  Whether you're on the streets or not... or, here's a better example,"  He scooted closer to me, "If I were to kiss something, someone, or you, what would happen?"  His face was getting closer and he repeated himself, "If I were to kiss something, someone or you..."  My eyes were fluttering shut and dammit!  I couldn't open them!  I wanted to see this!  Why can't I open them! I felt his breath get closer and my opened slightly enough to see his lips.  I felt a soft, beautiful pressure on my cheeks, and after a moment he pulled away.
I was almost disappointed he didn't kiss my mouth, but I was so wonder-stuck I still. Couldn't. Open. My. Eyes.  I was getting embarrassed.  Finally I got them open and he was smiling at me.

The scene switched to us laying in bed (No, we didn't do anything, I knew that much)  We were simply holding each other, sometimes kissing.  But I knew I had to pack.  So I told him that, and began to get up.
He asked if I had to.
"Aiya, please."
But I tilted my head and said, "When I'm done we don't have to stress about anything."

Now, I know I said my dreams get weird, and this doesn't sound weird.  It sounds normal.  This isn't.  First off, I can't speak to guys I like.  I feel like I'm annoying them, so I wait for them to talk to me- which is sometimes.  Second, we haven't got to the weird part.

Suddenly there were bangs on the door, and he jumped out of bed in a fury, panic swept through me as I got so very confused as to what was happening.  Two ghost girls appeared (I knew they were dead because I just knew)  and hugged me.  The scene changed to a train.  We were all in a train, and the man banging at the door (I knew he was a man because he was banging on glass doors) was still trying to get in.
There were a lot of us now; me, the boy, the two ghost girls (Who lived in the bedroom with their brother before they died of a sickness, again, I just knew this)  as well as a few of my family members and closest, oldest friends.
The boy gave us this tube and told us to put it on our teeth.
Ha. Ha.  We did it without second thought.
The man was still banging, oh gosh it was scary and intense and crazy.
When we put the paste on our teeth, the green paste made our teeth- guess which colour-- Green!
We were all so confused, and the train wasn't moving but we knew we would get to our destination.
The boy who kissed me pulled me off to the side and I asked, "What's going on (I said his name, but it blurred out in the dream.)?"
He hugged me and said, "Magic and Natural power go against one another."
And then I looked at the man on the opposite side of the glass door holding a laser pen, trying to get in.  And it was melting through the glass.
Ohhhh.  It made sense now.  The boy had some kind of power (Probably intense charisma, but I never find out) and the man uses magic!  And they're enemies!

The dream ends with the boy giving us new tubes of paste to make our teeth white again, but the colour is bright, glowing white-- like when Ross bleaches his teeth.


If you've been on my blog before, you know my name is Emily.  In dreams I've never told my name to anyone, and it felt like it was me.  But in this dream, I not only told him my name, but I said my name was Maiya.  Not only was that weird, but I was given a nickname in it-- Aiya.
This is the real reason I wanted to write down this dream, because this has never happened to me before with my memory.  I thought it was incredible.
Thanks for reading, you lovely soul,
-Emily

The Little Mud in Life

When she was young, she tied her hair up away from her face.
His hair was trimmed but messy as he ran through the field with his friends.
She carried a colouring book to the swings, laughing with her older sister.
As she tried matching the blue sky to her picture, her sister pushed her gently.
He was slipping in the mud and yelling at his mates, screaming with joy.
But he slipped too close to the swings, and kicked up some mud onto her.
Her white stocking were wrecked, and the picture she worked on wasn't able to be seen.
Her sister started yelling,
He tried to apologize,
She didn't say anything,
and then the bell rang.
All the students scurried inside, trying not to be late.
But the boy stayed behind to try to wipe the mud off the swing.
The girl wasn't angry, just embarrassed that she was so dirty.
She was sent to the washroom to clean up, but on her way she saw through the window that the boy was using his water bottle to clear the mud from the swings.
She blinked a few times before walking into the bathroom.  She opened the closet full of cleaning supplies and grabbed the bucket and sponge.
She filled it up with soap and some water, but when she got to the swings there was no sight of him.
When she was about to turn away, she heard a slapping noise behind her.  To her feet were a pair of mucky black running shoes.  Her confusion was short, because after she saw them, she looked up.  At the top of the swing set was the boy, and in his hand was one of his socks as he was scrubbing the post.
She called for him to come down, but he resisted.
Finally, she soaked the sponge and threw it at him.  A squishy splat echoed in the air, and a large, oval, damp shape cloaked his navy t-shirt.
He was stunned for a moment, and both the boy and girl watched the sponge squish back onto the gravel.
He hopped down, and asked her what she was doing out of class.
She didn't speak, but pulled falling strands away from her eyes.  She reached down for the sponge and began cleaning his runners.
They didn't speak for a while, but cleaned the mess around them.
He put on his shoes bare-footed as she tried getting the mud out of her stockings.
And when they walked into the school again, they went into their own classrooms.
They didn't see each other again, for he played soccer when he was older while she drew.
But when they passed each other, he thought of her ruined stockings while she thought of his shoes.
And they went their ways.